"You bitch, that’s good !"

18 décembre 2002 par  Aude

That’s what a friend wrote me once reading from me I don’t remember which "hero act" vaguely sexual. Later the first page of a magazine catches my eye in the street : "Is your girlfriend vicious ? If so, keep her !" [1].

To be like you should, cool and easy, you must be a "bitch". To please your boyfriend, you must be "vicious". Two words that can in a sexual layout be exciting for mister and irrigate his cock, but that still illustrate very negative ideas, don’t they ?
Our sexual life, to us girls, is on a double pressure : be good in bed, enjoy sex, knowing that this two "qualities" can be put upside down and become insults.

A paradoxal order
An other friend, pro-feminist, helps me to name this famous thing : "paradoxal order". Be on the same time "liberated" [2] sexually, feel good, like sex. but you must stay a serious girl who would blush in front of an erected penis.
It’s the old women division : mother or prostitute... except today you must be both ! Play with your double identity, from one to the other, never being the prisoner of one. Shit, that’s circus !

The perfect blend
Be sexy, dress "mini" to show off nice stuff and feel desirable, and in the same time not look like a prostitute.
Show you’re open to love affairs, but not looking too available to avoid harassment or agression.
Look like the girls in the magazines when you know they would be raped if they leave an over-protected environment.
Paradoxal order is definitely not pleasant for middle-class girls who must make with rude remarks when they are pretty... or when they are not enough. But for girls in popular areas, it can be a tragical pressure, and suburb girls say they must wear sportswear not to be the next victime of a collective rape.

Answer the remarks of those who would like us to be more like this and less like that, ignore the orders (sometimes relayed by other women) on our body, appearance, behaviour, is not easy. But this is how you start reconqueering your freedom.


[1] FRench magazine Max, June 2002

[2] see an other text, "After the revolution", for the ""